| Company Statistics | |
|---|---|
| Established | YE 33 |
| Employees | 722 |
| Associated Factions | Independant |
| HeadQuarters | Prime City, Nepleslia Prime |
| Nomenclature ID | N/A |
| Nicknames | Nepleslia Prime News, Not Possible, Not News |
Occasionally misnamed as Nepleslia Prime News, Notably Possible News (or NPN) is a parody news station and publisher hosted on Nepleslia Prime which is notorious for its sharply anti-Yamataian and anti-foreign stance and lack of political credibility, save among those staunchly xenophobic Nepleslains who cannot distinguish parody from an authentic representation of their views. Perhaps ironically their owner, Lance Cuvier, is among these extremists who believes in the news his half-tabloid, half-pundit and half-satire outlet publishes is an authentic representation, a view humored by his son Chuck and many of the other staff there.
| Lance Cuvier Nepleslian, Owner Personality: Sexist, racist, xenophobic former adventurer-archeologist turned rampant alcoholic billionaire playboy. Notes: Fires an HPAR one-handed, gangster style. Appearance: Greying black hair, tanned face, thick mustache and sideburns. Wears pinstripe suits and suspenders, and makes them work. |
| Hugh Dickson Nepleslian, Senior Political Columnist Personality: Quiet, sensible. Imposing. Notes: Huge in ways a public bio is and isn't allowed to say. Appearance: Bald, shirtless, in a fur coat. Huge. |
| Chuck Cuvier Nepleslian, Senior Science Columnist Personality: A snide, fast-talking hard-drinking pacifist shill who hates several things about his job. Notes: Hates Patricia the least. She seems to reciprocate his feelings. Appearance: Black hair slicked back, tanned, outrageously sexy blue eyes. Shame he hates male models or he could have been one. |
| Dirk Piven Nepleslian, Senior Health Columnist Personality: A verbose, well-read formal doctor with a bad thing for gallows humor. Notes: Has a wife. Sees fit to write about her carnally during a news article about cannibalism. Appearance: Blonde, green-eyed and aging well. Wears a labcoat in all the photographs distributed to the public, to cultivate a 'celebrity doctor' atmosphere. |
| Patricia Bandersnatch Nepleslian, Psychology Consultant Personality: Cool, sharp-mouthed and backhandedly polite around the awful NPN staff and interns. Quite nice at her practice. Notes: Wonders what's taking Chuck so long… Appearance: Red-headed, curvy and blue-eyed, with soft and likeable features. Wears conservative office clothes and especially pants because her co-workers are awful. |