Aethersperm is a Nepleslian metal band.
Aethersperm is perhaps the most widely known Nepleslian musical group to ever scream at the top of their lungs. They are known for tempo-heavy guitar screeching, risqué and offensive lyrics, flagrant style of dressing (especially Double D’s), heavy drug use, and extremely wild sex-tastic tours. Aethersperm and its motley crew rocketed into popularity in YE 26 with their hit single “SUPER MEGA DEATH EAGLE FUCK YEAH!!”, which topped charts in a single night due to Jon-Jon’s infamous guitar solo, in which he screamed “FUCK!” in rapid succession 48 times before passing out on stage and being hospitalized for lung failure. When later asked how he knew this would become Aethersperm’s greatest moment, he simply replied, “Well shi’, jus’ think ‘ow fuckin’ RAAD we’da been if ‘oy said it 87 times like we’d practiced.”
Music Genre: Super Heavy Death Speed Glam Hair Metal
Hit Single: “SUPER MEGA DEATH EAGLE FUCK YEAH!!”
Defining Album: “Space Truckin’, Planet Fuckin’”
The lead singer, lead guitarist and leading man of Aethersperm. A rather dashing fellow, muscular with a heinous amount of untamable long black hair. Prefers to incorporate lots of mesh-type clothing into his wardrobe, whether its fishnet stockings or industrial-grade steel netting. A true visionary by nature, most of the songs performed by Aethersperm are of his own design, as well as many of the over-the-top theatrics during performances. Jon-Jon, when not performing, is a very extravagant man; he knows he is living the high life, and he exploits it with every ounce of his person.
If Ms. Dinkaid is known for anything, it would be her breasts. Secondary Guitar and female vocalist, Double D’s got her name for her excessively suggestive clothing worn during performances, as well as her sultry attitude on-stage. Sporting a modest crop of neon pink hair and the quickest pick-hand this side of the galaxy, Double D’s is perhaps the most widely recognized woman on Nepleslian. Coincidently, Dizzy’s breasts are not DD sized most of the time…they have changed so many times over the course of Aethersperms career people gave up guessing, however there are many fan-run websites dedicated to keeping track of Double D's wonderful jugs and their evolution through the years.
When previous drummer Lenny Binks quit the group due to financial hostilities, the rest of Aethersperm bought a retired model android, taught it how to play the drums, and glued an enormous red wig on its head. Hence, Moe 17 was born. The reprogramming of Moe 17 was done by Jon-Jon himself, and although Moe can only reply is automated responses due to his dated technology he is still considered a vital member to Aethersperm. Moe 17 only member of Aethersperm to not drink or use drugs, although according to Jon-Jon, Moe is the most sexually active member of Aethersperm. When asked how this is possible, Rocketass simply replied, “Th' hell if I know…tha' wimmin jus' love tha' damn robot. Shit, I didn' even give 'im a cock and tha' ladies still find ways ta' do 'im.”
When we asked lead guitarist Rocketass about why they call Rodney “Shitz”, Jon-Jon's replied, “’cause tha’s the oonly thing he does betta than the bass!” Tall, dark and quiet by nature, Shitz is the only member of Aethersperm without a wild mop of hair upon his head, although on occasion he has been known to place wigs on his bald noggin. Jon-Jon and Rodney have a lot of history together, and are great friends. Through many testimonies from Shitz's conquests, Mr. Smidts is supposedly extremely perverted in the bedroom: he has a Lolita complex, prefers S&M, extreme bondage, defecation, and one Geshrin woman claims that Shitz offered her a sponge bath in a hot tub filled with Antimatter O’s. These testimonies are all in question for validity, and Shitz himself sadly never responds to questions about his sex life.
Aethersperm has been a hot topic of both endless praise and endless criticism ever since the name Aethersperm came into existence. Jon-Jon is a brilliant writer and composer; however when he creates songs Rocketass pulls no punches whatsoever. In one of Aethersperm's more recent songs “I Sex'd the Empress”, Jon-Jon and Double D's sing in unison about a fictional sexual encounter they had with Ketsurui Yui in which Ms. Dinkaid put the Empress on a leash and lead her around like a pet cat, while Jon-Jon himself made gentle, passionate love to her for three straight hours. Critics berated the song, saying it was too much and criticized Aethersperms use of shocking lyrics, while Nepleslian elitists hailed the song as inspirational and claimed that it was respectful to both cultures and their respective customs.
Dizzy Dinkaid is also a point of controversy. The Geshrin, on many occasions, has made Aethersperm's widely viewed concerts and music videos to be sexually suggestive to the point of being pornographic. On one such occasion, during Aethersperm's stage performance of “Excessive Suggestive”, Double D's walked on stage wearing absolutely nothing but small, holographic black bars covering her unmentionables. During the entirety of the song the black bars remained true to their purpose, but this did not stop angry parents from assaulting Ms. Dinkaid and her lifestyle. Meanwhile, many fans are making long-term wagers on when Double D's will perform a song without 'those dastardly black bars', as fans so eloquently put it.
This article was created by Moon Man. It was approved by Wes on March 17, 2007:Approval Info