Nepleslian Military Rations (YE 37 Type)

Although the vast majority of meals served to Nepleslian forces at home or abroad or cooked fresh (for a given value of fresh)at dining facilities on shore or on ship, there is a clear and present need for meals that a marine or sailor can carry with them on combat deployments.

Military rations are high-calorie meals, one of them typically being enough food to sustain one day of exertion. The individual components of a military ration require almost no preparation, can be eaten either hot or cold, and at most may require only water from a service-member's canteen. Meals can be eaten all at once, or are more commonly “rat-fucked”, meaning they are opened and eaten throughout the day. The individual meal components are all sealed in airtight bags, which in turn are sealed in a larger airtight bag.

The YE 37 update incorporates numerous changes from the first menu of Nepleslian Military Rations, which were created with more enthusiasm than skill. After numerous complaints of sailors and marines shooting themselves or each other with the 'Side Entry' .45 caliber handgun and accidental conflagrations caused from the unfortunate combination of kerosene and strike-anywhere matches (not to mention the bottle of whiskey) being included in the same package, the YE37 ration update removes a lot of the more dangerous options to bring them more in line with other galactic military rations, the most notable of which is a water-activated flameless chemical heater which is used in the preparation of most 'hot' items in the ration.

Nepleslian Military Rations (henceforth referred to as NMR's, or bag nasties) are proudly manufactured by the OmNom Corp of Nepleslia, jointly with Akemi's and Neppies corporations.

NMR's consist of several components: Entree, Side Dish, Dessert, Beverage, and Condiments/Accessories, which consist of one of the following of each category.

Entrees are the center of the meal, and typically the highest-calorie component of the bag nasty. Entrees include:

• Chili W/Beans
• Pork 'Rib' (typically an ambiguous meat patty of unknown origin)
• Beef Ravioli
• Spaghetti W/ Meatballs
• Chili Mac W/ Cheese
• 'Beef' Patty (see pork rib)
• Chicken Tetrazinni
• Chicken Jambalaya
• Smoky 'Beef' Frankfurters (unceremoniously referred to as 'Baby Dicks')
• Manly Meat Roll (steak cutlet and pork sausage wrapped in bacon. Despite being rare, it was by far the most popular of the menu options, and threats of mutiny from the majority of the NSN and NSMC forced OmNom to put it back on the menu)
• Shredded BBQ Beef

Side Dishes provide a second 'mini' entree, and are typically one of the most traded items in a NMR, besides the desserts. Side Dishes can be heated up, but are usually not required. Side Dishes include:

• Diced Pears
• Applesauce
• Mixed Fruit
• Cornbread Stuffing
• Rice and Beans
• Fruit Salad
• Fried Rice
• Mango Slices in Syrup
• Apple Slices in Syrup
• Peach Slices in Syrup

Typically the most coveted and simultaneously the most traded items. Desserts include:

• Brown Cinnamon Toaster Pastry
• Fudge Brownie
• Lemon Poppyseed Pound Cake
• Chocolate Chip cookie
• Sugar Cookie
• 'Shamrock' candies (universally regarded as bad luck and almost never consumed by nepleslian military personnel barring dire circumstances, nevertheless, they are still included in the rations)

Beverage options consist mostly of powdered drinks that are added to a soldier's canteen or bottle of water, or else boiled in the flameless heater included in the ration. The only exception to this is a small can of the popular THRUST or SPEED canned energy drink. The options include:

One packet of:

• Orange, Strawberry, Lemon, Green Apple, or Blue Raspberry powdered beverage mix

All rations include:

• 1 powdered Coffee packet
• 1 tea bag
• 1 8 oz can of SPEED or THRUST energy drink

Condiments/Accessories do not typically change from meal to meal, and include:

• 10-pack of cigarettes, usually non-menthol
• Flameless ration heater
• Napkin
• Toilet paper
• 1 packet Ketchup
• 1 packet Mustard
• 1 packet hot sauce
• 1 plastic spork
• Salt/ Pepper packets
• Combat Candy

This page was originally created on 2015/10/13 22:38 by Born-on-board.