Balloon is a prog-rock band from the Nepleslias, and widely regarded as the best worst band in the universe by blending orchestral niceties with rock and roll and synth; having sparse, salad-like vocals and coupled with inane song lengths in the name of being 'epic' because longer songs mean better with 'songs' reaching up to twenty to forty minutes with improvised solos and occasionally, lyrics.
However, the cringeworthy appeal of sitting through these aural assaults has made them financially successful, and endearing. They're usually asked to be the opening acts for better bands to cleanse the audience's palette, using shorter versions of their songs, five to six minutes at maximum, which are much more popular with listeners than the full versions.
Forming as a garage band during the settlement of Nepleslia Prime, they were doing alright by playing at pubs and bars around Prime City before their drummer died of a vision journey off a cliff in early YE32. That's when their reputation as 'worst band in the universe' started catching up with them because they insisted on playing their songs without a drummer.
After the death of their drummer, they were first publicly spotted playing at a hotel in Nepleslia Prime in YE32. A misadventure occurred while the tried to think of a gimmick for that evening, with Luca Pavone and his crew fighting a woman made of inky goo, at least three assassins and a giant, inflatable crocodile assaulting the bassist (no really). The band threw their planned notes and track list away and improvised frantically to the fight.
The frenzy of the fight was a positive influence on their music, according to Tommy Stretch. They also decided to give up looking for a new drummer willing to work with them and buy a Drum Machine.
Here are the current and previous members of Balloon.
The Dashing Frontman, vocalist and keyboarder. When he isn't singing and focussing on belting out keyboard solos on the piano, he has an exaggerated frown plastered to his face in concentration, sometimes called the 'Stretch Frown'.
It is impossible to tell which way his eyes are facing thanks to a mop bowl cut that covers his eyes and nose. His mouth (and the dogended cigarette in it) is normally visible. He has been asked by charities to shave it off and reveal himself, but he refuses on the grounds that “I'd be ugly as hell.”
The Lead Guitarist. She uses a special type of synthesiser guitar called the Ribbon Controller, which has a flat pad where the fretboard should be, no strings, and large touchscreen for 'strumming' the sounds. According to interviews, it's a home invention of hers that she uses to get the unique squeals, whines, riffs and licks out of her sound.
The Jittery Bassist. Having grown accustomed to the fact that he'd be plucking the bass for the rest of his life and growing sick of nicking his fingers on the bass strings, he cut off his hands and replaced them with finely tuned cybernetic ones. Occasionally, he shoots lightning from them.
He also has wooden panelling on his cybernetics, and Edgy is sometimes called 'woodenhead' for having skull that looks like it's made from polished maple. He's also known for having the more mellowed personality compared to Zena and Tommy, stating that the wood in his head allows him to sense the 'vibes' off of people.
An electric drum machine that provides all of their drumming work for their songs. Some of the samples have been messed with to get that just-off-kilter feel that Balloon strives for. It also gets the most groupies, has the most scandalous reputation and appears to be the most popular 'member' of the band despite being non-sentient.
Shrouded in myth and mystery, their previous drummer, Ed Hurley died of misadventure after ingesting a suspicious amount of Lorath drugs and walking off a cliff yelling “I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!” in YE32. He was also incredibly popular with the fans for their destructive behaviour, involving explosives, defenestrated televisions, cars in swimming pools and self-directed arson attacks.
Some fans speculate that Ed's ghost currently inhabits the Drum Machine due to repeated incidents involving local wildlife while on tour. How these occur is a mystery, but the Drum Machine is a constant.
This page was originally created on 2014/01/17 16:35 by Luca.
Listen to these bands and their songs if you want to get an idea of how Balloon sounds.